


Could You Ever Love Me Back?

by heliossn



Category: AFTERL!FE
Genre: Angst, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, One-Sided Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:27:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25083142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heliossn/pseuds/heliossn
Summary: So welcome to the first fic I write to dump off all of my angst.
Relationships: Theo/June
Comments: 7
Kudos: 18





	Could You Ever Love Me Back?

**Author's Note:**

> Was inspired by the AL loves you Twitter GC~
> 
> Some of this is my own hc for how the characters act so not all of it is going to follow canon. Plus I haven't read all of the personal stories so forgive me if my portrayals are off hasdhjad
> 
> Andandand this fic is kinda shitty I'm too brain dead to fix it so ahhahah take the pure angst. 
> 
> Also I'm finishing this up at 4 AM expect grammar mistakes/wrong wordings despite the fact I'm using Grammarly ok thx bye-

Theo sat in his shared room with June. Since June had managed to get him to get rid of all of his books and studying desk he managed to break the habit that followed him from his past life, constant studying. But of course, with most undying habits it was a difficult feat. Sometimes he would sit up and think he needed to study only to realize he wasn't in the human world anymore and that it was pointless to study. June did try helping him get over this by introducing him to new hobbies such as fighting but Theo, being the perfectionist he is refused to give up until he did everything, well perfectly. It started out with Theo's body being sore since he was still learning but he ended up constantly pushing himself. Their manager ended up stepping in and showing Theo how to bake, which is now the new pastime that he enjoys participating in. 

Theo was sat in the chair that aligned very specifically to a spot he found quite comfortable, though one time June had moved his chair over by a couple of centimetres which no longer made it perpendicular to his bed and he was seething. While it did annoy him that June was careless and sometimes forgot to sanitize before entering their room he never could be truly angry at June. Sometimes Theo found himself admiring the carefreeness June exuded since he never felt that way himself. Other times Theo would be perfectly content observing the things June would be doing and smiling to himself when he found the other cute for doing specific actions.

All these things Theo would pay attention to, down to every little detail and it would be fresh in his mind for whenever June became the topic of conversation, though he was very careful not to let out too much information so as to not seem suspicious that he would know so much about June down to the minuscule details.

So let's say this small infatuation of his, you can call, _an obsession_. 

* * *

While Theo read his book, June would usually be coming in and out at varying hours all the time, but today was different. June had gone out with their manager to the human world for reasons Theo didn't exactly know and they wouldn't be back for the next few days. No one else really knew why the two had left but they ended up taking another nine reapers with them, which left half of each faction at the reapers department. It was almost night time and time for Theo to sleep since he worked during the day. He closed his book after placing in a bookmark to remember his place. As he tucked himself in, he dreamed of cute scenarios between him and June, but of course. His feelings were truly one-sided. 

Theo woke to the scent of blood, but it felt like he couldn't breathe. He struggled to inhale through his nose, it felt like his lungs were being clogged up. He sat up and coughed, but instead of clearing his throat as it usually would when he had a cold, flower petals came out of his mouth and he stared stunned at his hands. What kind of sick prank was this, stuffing flowers into his mouth. Some of the petals were pitch black, others a dreamy yellow. Theo rose and ran out the door to the large mirror Louis had in their common room, but he felt weaker than usual. The short sprint had taken most of his energy and he was wheezing when the approached the mirror, which quickly turned into sharp, violent coughs. 

The male cupped his mouth, petals spewing out from between his fingers but this time drops of blood followed along with the petals. As drops of blood hit the floor, he staggered and had to lean on the wall to steady himself. Louis peeked his head out from his and Ethan's room moments after he heard the suffocated coughs Theo let out. He gasped when he saw Theo, teary-eyed and surrounded by quickly decaying blood-stained petals. He rushed over to help Theo stand properly whilst exclaiming,

"Oh dear, are you alright?!"

Theo glanced at the other male and shook his head weakly, he tried to speak but his throat was still clogged up by flowers, so once again they came sprinkling out of his mouth. Louis shook his head and said, 

"Go back to your room Theo dear, I'll call the others over to see what we can do.. Though surely if I was to be the reason for your ailment then we would be in serious trouble since I myself am deeply in love with myself.." 

Louis was half-joking when he trailed off. He briskly waved Theo back to his room, to which Theo complied unwillingly. He didn't want to be in bed sick due to some stupid prank. When he entered his room he fell into a fit of coughing again, collapsing to his knees seemingly unable to hold himself up anymore. He hated how he felt so weak, it made him feel pathetic, _it made him feel imperfect_. His arms twitched as he held himself up, slowly he brought himself up onto shaky legs and barely made it to June's bed (which was closer than his own) before he fell unconscious.

* * *

When Theo woke again he was laid on his back and changed into new clothes, his vision was hazy and he had to blink a lot for his vision to refocus. Though the pristine white walls he stared at weren't of his own making him realize he had been moved. He tried to sit up only to be softly pushed back down by Cyrille who had a serious look plastered to his face. Theo looked confused but he realized breathing was easier now, he opened his mouth to ask if he had been cured but Cyrille cut him off by clearing his throat speaking,

"Hanahaki disease, a life-threatening illness born from unrequited love. The patient's esophagus will first fill up with flowers, then they will proceed to expel the petals from their mouth and in some circumstances, the patient will vomit full flowers. The only two ways to cure someone of this ailment is if the person whom they are in love with returns the same feelings but it must be genuine feelings of compassion and adoration. The other is to have the blooms removed through surgery but the feelings vanish along with the petals.."

Theo had zoned out at this point, he lay in shock, letting the details sink into his brain. He had fallen in love with someone who didn't love him back and that's what was causing him to cough up flowers? How could he let himself go like that, he liked June because it felt like he had freed him, gave him a sense that there was now more to Theo's life than just studying. That there was so much more in the world that he could experience instead of trying to be the perfect role model for others to follow in the shadow of. He was snapped out of his trace when Cyrille waved his hand in front of his face, he glanced at the other male who sighed and continued explaining,

"If the patient chooses not to have surgery done and their feelings are not returned in them in time then the patient's lungs will fill up with flowers and they will end up suffocating. Based on the petals from the flowers you have been coughing up, you are feeling lots of negative emotions.."

Cyrille walked away only to come back with three individual flowers, perfect models of what the full blooms would look like. The one of the very left was hued in golden yellow to a lighter shade, Cyrille had called it a hyacinth. The one in the middle was a black rose, which doesn't occur in nature, the ones labelled 'black' are usually deep purples, maroons or burgundies when examined thoroughly under a bright light. The last one on the right bloomed upright in almost a rounded cone shape, it too was yellow in hue, though slightly paler. Cyrille explained the general meanings of the blooms shown,

"The yellow hyacinth commonly means jealousy, while the yellow carnation represents rejection or disappointment and the black rose.."

He trailed off before continuing,

" _Means obsession..._ "

* * *

A couple of hours later after Cyrille had run enough tests to make sure Theo would be okay until June came back, Theo was sent back to his room to rest. So he laid on his back staring up at the ceiling. It felt like it took forever for time to pass, Cyrille had told him to limit movement since it might disturb the flowers residing in his lungs and make them grow faster. 

Days passed and everyday Cyrille would ask Theo the same question only to receive the same response,

"Have you considered having surgery, Theo?"

"What's the point of living on if my love has died.. I'd rather die with these feelings than pretend like they never even existed."

When June came back home he was confused as to why all of Theo's things weren't in their room anymore, little did he know he truly did value the presence of Theo. He liked that despite him coming in and out of his room he always knew Theo would be there, sitting at his armchair reading a book or just staring out the window to watch the world outside. But now that Louis was in his room he felt strange, it felt irregular. He had gotten to use to sanitizing his hands and wearing slippers when entering the room that he still did the actions despite Theo not being there. June wondered where his good friend had gone to and why he had switched rooms with no prior notice. 

When he knocked on Ethan's door there was no answer, the door only swung open slightly and June peeked in. Theo sat unmoving on his armchair facing the window he was watching the sunset. June knocked louder on the door frame to catch Theo's attention. Theo turned slightly before responding,

"Who is it?"

"It's me bro, June."

Theo immediately turned back much to June's confusion and the response he got from Theo shocked him even further. Theo responded in a curt tone,

"Please leave me alone June.."

But June stood his ground,

"Why? I haven't seen you in days and you switched rooms without telling me the reason.. Did I do something wrong?"

Theo didn't answer the orange-haired male, he just mumbled under his breath, 

"Please.. Just leave me alone for today. Sometime soon you'll understand why I promise..."

June didn't hear him though, he left shortly after Theo didn't respond to him. He ran to somewhere secluded as his eyes welled up with tears. He hated it when he felt like this, it made him feel weak and useless. But this time was an exception, someone he found to be family refused to talk to him, to explain things out and to be coldly brushed off made it hurt more. June punched the wall, cracking it slightly. He sank down against the wall he had just punched and cried for a good ten minutes. Before he wiped his eyes and pretended like nothing ever happened. 

He would go back to being the June everyone knew. He would plaster on a smile and pretend like he and Theo were still good buddies. After all, a sudden change in personality would make everyone concerned and he didn't want that. He didn't' want to make anyone worry because of him. He would feel bad if someone were to give him an ounce of concern, which is why he decided to completely keep it to himself,

* * *

Several days had passed and Theo's grasp on life was wavering. Despite the many times, Cyrille would come over to ask him again and again if he would consider surgery Theo still disagreed. Cyrille didn't want to disrespect his decisions no matter how insane or depressing they supposedly were.

While Theo still had the strength to move around he made a request to Cyrille to give him copies of the same flowers he had shown him when he was first diagnosed. He decorated a small pot with bright colours and stuck then set himself to leave a note behind for June in which he would leave taped to the bottom of said flower pot. That way he could leave a message behind for June but at the same time not have it out in the open for anyone to just see.

At the end of his note he felt his vision going blurry, Theo struggled to inhale. He started panicking and trying to hyperventilate which didn't help him and he coughed up petal after petal, bloom after bloom. The rose blooms scratched against his throat causing the next petals that spewed out to be coloured with droplets of blood. He desperately tried to get the note under the flower pot so that no one would see it but he didn't have enough time. He barely managed to stick the flowers into the pot before collapsing into a heap on the ground. 

Wheezing he blinked out tears, wondering why he couldn't have just loved someone from afar. Why did a disease have to follow behind him? 

Theo laid on the floor as he let out his last breaths, his body now laid limp on the floor, petals floating atop the small pool of his own blood. And in those final moments, he mumbled to the empty air,

"Could you ever love me back...?"

**Author's Note:**

> I'm the admin of the @/No_9_Nine account on twt if you wanna send me a follow ovo)/ <3


End file.
